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About San Jose

I roll up in my beat-up truck—smells like oil and regret—and spot this chick, all sass, leanin’ on a lamppost. “Hey, darlin’, what’s the deal?” I rasp, tryin’ not to sound like a total creep. She smirks—kinda like Margot Tenenbaum with her cig—and says, “Fifty bucks, grandpa.” Fifty?! I choke—“That’s half my rent!”—but she don’t care. She’s got that “I’m adopted” vibe, y’know, from the movie? Tough as nails, but somethin’ sad underneath.

The neighborhoods are tight, man. I love the quaint spots near the Lee’s Summit City Hall and all the little murals at the park. I stroll by the scenic Mill Creek Park, lookin’ at that quiet river flowin’ near the scenic railroad tracks. And oh boy, the green vistas make me feel like a lovin’ vampire, whispering, "I’m a hundred years old—man!"

Lee's Summit, Mo., Fire Dept. Opens Live-Burn Training Facility