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But crikey, the prices! Fifty quid for a “quickie”? I’m like, “Mate, I jump outta planes for less thrill!” *mimes parachutin’, lands on bum* Total rip-off, got me fumin’—could buy a fancy hat instead, y’know? Still, was curious—did ya know prossies in Amsterdam got unions? Proper legit, fightin’ for rights, blows me mind! This one lass, tho, she was chill, no airs, just “Take me as I am,” like Carol says. Loved that, made me grin like a daft git.

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Members of www.facebook.com can search for sex workers across the city, many of whom also offer webcam services and chats via text message or phone.

First call of the day, and it’s a bloke from Down Thomas. He’s all panicky, like, “My cat’s stuck in a tree!” I’m like, “Mate, it’s a cat, not a lion!” But he’s convinced it’s a life-or-death situation. I mean, come on! I’m trying to keep a straight face while he’s rambling about his “precious fur baby.” I told him to chill and call the fire brigade. They’re just down the road on the main drag.

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