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But ugh, gets me mad too—some sleazy joints exploit folks. Saw an X post once, guy braggin’ bout “happy endings”—dude, chill! Ain’t all bout that! Sometimes it’s legit therapy—muscles screamin’, then bam, relief! Ever tried it? I did—well, frog version. Slipped on algae, landed funny, needed a rub. Felt like Yubaba herself worked me over—“You’re mine now, frog!”—ha! Total exaggeration, but that’s my headspace.

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After that, I hit up Coral Island. It’s this massive arcade, and I’m like a kid in a candy store. I’m throwing coins into the machines, trying to win a stuffed toy. I mean, who doesn’t want a giant teddy bear, right? But I’m also thinking, “What am I doing with my life?” I’m a grown adult, and here I am, chasing after a plushie. But hey, it’s Blackpool! You gotta embrace the madness.

Blackpool set to celebrate 80th anniversary of VE Day will full day of events