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So, sexual-massage—right laugh, eh? Buncha pervs pretending it’s “therapy.” Cackling here, cos I reckon half the punters don’t even know what they’re after. Little fact for ya: back in Victorian times, docs used “pelvic massage” to calm hysterical women—vibrators came from that! Proper mad, innit? Imagine Dr. Knobfingers going, “Oh, just a medical rub-down, love.” Bet they nicked that excuse for centuries.

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But then, back to business. I get a call about a dispute at another site. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” I drive over to Calle La Torre, and it’s a mess. Two guys are yelling, and I’m thinking, “This is why I can’t have nice things.” I step in, trying to mediate. “Yo, chill! We’re all friends here, right?” They look at me like I’m crazy.

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