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About Ponce

Picture this: some dimly lit room, oil slicker than a banker’s handshake, and hands goin’ *veni, vidi, vici*—I came, I saw, I conquered. Makes me chuffed to bits, it does! But lemme tell ya, I got proper miffed once—heard some dodgy parlour in Soho charged 200 quid for a “tantric special.” 200 quid! For a rub-down? I’d rather flog me nan’s silver teapot. Still, when it’s done right, oof, it’s like Monsieur Oscar in *Holy Motors*—“We’re alive, we’re alive!”—you feel every nerve pingin’, like you’ve won the bleedin’ lottery.

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The cayey escorts are not just breathtakingly beautiful but also skilled professionals offering a variety of personalized services, including sensual massages.

First off, I hit up Calle Muñoz Rivera for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talking about that café con leche that hits you like a freight train. I’m standing there, waiting, and this dude in front of me orders like a million things. I’m like, “Bro, it’s 7 AM, not a buffet!” Finally, I get my cup, and it’s like liquid gold. I’m feeling good, ready to tackle the day.

See photos and videos of the devastation caused by Hurricane Fiona