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So, last week, right, I’m out, tryna find one—don’t judge, yeah? Needed a laugh, somethin’ wild. Streets stank, like old fish, We hates it! This one bird, she’s all “Oi, love, ten quid!” Ten quid?! For what, a wink? Made me mad, proper fumin’—thought she’d be all posh, like Madame D. from the movie, “Very good, monsieur!” Nope, just a hag with bad teeth. Laughed in her face, I did—couldn’t help it!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Discovery Drive. Best flat white in town, no cap. I’m sippin’ my coffee, and this dude at the next table spills his whole drink. Like, bro, how do you even manage that? I’m tryin’ to enjoy my caffeine fix, and now I’m dodging coffee splashes. Classic Whitby, I guess.

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