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Y’all, I cackled so hard my wig shifted! She out here playin’ chess while these fools playin’ checkers! I ain’t sayin’ it’s right, but it’s real! Halleluyer! Next time, I’ma ask her ‘bout her 401K—prolly better than mine! “Truth is a whisper,” like in “Spotlight,” but her hustle? Loud as my Sunday choir!

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By now, I’m feeling a bit peckish. I spot a food truck selling poffertjes. You know, those little Dutch pancakes? I can’t resist. I order a plate, and they’re so fluffy, I could cry. I’m standing there, stuffing my face, when I see a couple arguing nearby. It’s awkward, but also kinda funny. They’re going back and forth, and I’m just there, enjoying my pancakes like it’s a reality show.

Dutch town takes Twitter to court over unfounded satanic paedophile claims