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About Amsterdam

Alright, pal. Erotic-massage. Here’s the deal. I’m Christopher Walken – pauses. Mid-sentence. Unexpected *emphasis*. Picture this. You’re tense. Muscles tight. Like Nemo’s dad – Marlin. Freakin’ out over his kid. “I promised I’d never let anything happen to him!” That’s you. Before the rubdown. Then – bam. Hands hit your back. Oil’s slick. Smells like lavender or some crap. Loosens you up. Like Dory sayin’, “Just keep swimming.” Stress melts. You’re floatin’.

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By now, I’m feeling a bit peckish. I spot a food truck selling poffertjes. You know, those little Dutch pancakes? I can’t resist. I order a plate, and they’re so fluffy, I could cry. I’m standing there, stuffing my face, when I see a couple arguing nearby. It’s awkward, but also kinda funny. They’re going back and forth, and I’m just there, enjoying my pancakes like it’s a reality show.

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