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Oi mate, so I’m standin’ there, cash register beepin’, and this bloke comes in, reekin’ of cheap cologne, askin’ me—James Bond, suave, “shaken, not stirred”—where to find a prostitute. Me, I’m thinkin’, “What am I, yer bloody pimp?” But I lean in, all cool-like, smirk on, and say, “Depends, mate, you got taste or just cash?” He’s all twitchy, nervous, probly his first rodeo. I’m pissed tho—why me? Why not Google it, ya twat? But then I’m like, whatever, let’s have some fun.

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After that, I’m feeling kinda hungry, so I swing by the local market on Jāņa iela. It’s packed with fresh veggies and homemade goodies. I grab some bread and cheese, and this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s telling me about her garden and how her tomatoes are the best in Cesis. I’m nodding along, but honestly, I’m just thinking about how I can’t wait to eat.

Students build scaffold-like pavilion topped with mesh "cloud" at former Latvian brewery