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I go close, she smile, teeth crooked but sexy. “How much?” I ask, she say, “50 dollar, very nice!” I think, wtf, 50 dollar? In my country, that buy two goat AND wife! I get mad, “You rob me, lady!” She laugh, say, “You get what you pay, cowboy.” Cowboy? Me? I no ride horse, I ride her, hahaha! Very nice joke, Borat, you funny man.

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After that, we hit up a local pub on Rīgas iela. I order a beer, and Jānis gets this weird-looking dish. I’m like, “What is that?” He says it’s some traditional Latvian food. I take a bite, and it’s... interesting. Not bad, but def not my fave. I’m trying to be polite, but inside I’m like, “What did I just eat?”

Icy roads in Latvia Friday morning / Article