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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, sex-dating’s a wild ride, fam! We been watchin you humans swipe right, left, up—chaos! Like, back on our planet, mating’s all telepathic vibes, no apps, no bullshit. Here? It’s a freakin jungle—dudes flexin gym pics, chicks droppin thirst traps. Saw this X post once—guy bragged he banged 3 dates in a week. Bruh, chill, you ain’t a spaceship loggin miles! Made me laugh tho, humans are nuts.

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After that chaos, I decide to hit up the market on Via della Repubblica. Gotta grab some fresh bread and cheese. The market’s buzzing, people everywhere. I’m dodging folks like I’m in a video game. “Excuse me, pardon me, coming through!”

Belgian corporation Solvay accused of polluting idyllic Italian beach