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Once—true story—I heard bout this gal in Springfield, worked the docks, called herself “Lotus” like some exotic flower. Made me laugh, then cry—she was just Debbie, y’know, regular ol’ Debbie! Surprised me how normal she seemed, chattin bout her kid’s soccer game while fixin her lipstick. Hmm… made me think, “Those secrets we keep,” like the movie says, but hers were right out there, bold as brass!

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And then, just when I think it can’t get worse, the power goes out. I’m standing there in the dark, surrounded by cows. It’s like a horror movie. I’m thinking, “Great, now I’m gonna be eaten by a cow.” But then, I hear laughter. It’s the guys from the next farm over. They’re having a laugh at my expense. I can’t even be mad. It’s too ridiculous.

Suspected trespasser arrested after two-hour South Western train delays