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Alright, listen up, ya filthy landlubber! I’m a sailor, seen some wild ports, and lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage—hooo boy! Ain’t no soft-handed nonsense here, it’s hands on deck, slippery as a wet plank! Judge Judy style, sharp as a cutlass: “Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain!”—I see thru the fakers pretending it’s “just a rubdown.” Nah, it’s steamy, it’s sensual, it’s like Gigolo Joe from *A.I.* whisperin’, “I know what you want,” all smooth-like.

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Man, the parks here are somethin’ else. There’s Olifants Park – a bit wild and free, just like me sometimes – where the trees seem to whisper secrets and the kids play in bursts of uncontained energy. You sit there, relax, and feel like every leaf on every branch has a story to tell. And that’s preachin’ right there, I tell ya!

Mob kills three in Vaalbank after body of missing girl found