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About Florence

I tried it once, swear it! Some dude in Maui, back in ’99—total sketchball. Said he’d “heal my soul” with coconut oil. Don’t pee on my leg, buddy—I felt more groped than healed! Hands everywhere, like he’s auditioning for an alien skin-peelin’ scene. Made me mad as hell—$50 for that?! But, gotta admit, kinda thrilling too—like, whoa, what’s next?

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Then, I hit the market at Piazza della Repubblica. Man, the vibe there is electric! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all the locals chattin’ away. I grabbed some figs—so juicy, they practically exploded in my mouth. But then, I overheard this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting match. I’m just standin’ there, fig juice drippin’ down my chin, tryin’ not to laugh. They were fightin’ over who forgot to buy the bread. I mean, c’mon! It’s just bread!

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