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She starts kneadin’ me, hands slippery like dat black gold Daniel Day-Lewis chases—ooh, I felt alive, comrades! “I drink your milkshake!” I yell in my head, laughin’, ‘cause dis massage, it’s stealin’ my tension, slurrrp! But den—ugh, she’s chargin’ me triple! Triple! I’m mad, steam comin’ outta my ears—dis ain’t no charity, eh? I tell her, “I’ve abandoned my boy!”—meanin’ my wallet, ha! She don’t laugh. Tough crowd.

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First off, I hit up the market on Main Street. You know how it is, vendors shoutin’ their deals like it’s a competition. “Fresh fruits! Best prices!” I’m like, “Chill, I just want some mangoes.” But nah, they all up in my face. I grabbed a few ripe ones, but then this dude tried to shortchange me. I was like, “Bruh, you think I’m blind?” Got me heated, but I just laughed it off.

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