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Halleluyer! Chile, lemme tell y’all ‘bout this sex-dating mess! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout them folks swipin’ left and right, tryna get they groove on quicker than a jackrabbit on a hot date! Now, I ain’t no prude, honey, but this whole sex-dating thang got me shook—like, what happened to courtin’? Back in my day, you had to talk sweet, maybe sneak a lil kiss under the porch light. Now? Folks out here meetin’ strangers faster than you can say "Timbuktu"! You know, like in that movie—my fave, y’all—“Timbuktu” by Abderrahmane Sissako, 2014. Them folks in the desert, livin’ simple, but oh, the drama! Sex-dating today? It’s drama on steroids, halleluyer!

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But then, outta nowhere, it started to rain. Like, really rain. I was soaked in seconds. I laughed it off, though. I mean, what else could I do? I ran for cover under a nearby awning, and there was this old lady selling umbrellas. I bought one, and it was the ugliest thing ever. Bright yellow with polka dots. I looked ridiculous, but hey, at least I was dry.