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About Semey

I go once, in Almaty, brothel hidin behind butcher shop. Very sneaky! Guy at door, big beard, smell like sheep, he say, “50 tenge, you get girl!” I pay, go in, room dark, red light, girl sittin there, smokin ciggie. She look at me, I say, “Very nice!” She laugh, say, “You funny, hairy man!” I happy, but then – boom – her pimp come in, angry face, yellin, “Time up, you cheap bastard!” I mad, wanna punch, but I run instead, pantz half down, haha!

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But then, I hear this loud noise. I look up, and there’s a bunch of guys playing football. They’re kicking the ball around like it’s the World Cup or something. One of them kicks it too hard, and it comes flying right at me! I duck just in time, but my heart’s racing. I’m like, “Dude, chill!”

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