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Dunno, man, they’re dodgy but brill. Smell o’ cheap perfume, fag smoke – real as fuck. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but I’d say they’re half angel, half devil, screamin’ “Sharon!” in me head. Couldn’t do it meself, no chance – I’d be rubbish, trip over me own knob! Hah! “Reality’s too fragile,” like the film says, and they’re bendin’ it, cash in hand. Respect, mate, but it’s a mad, mad game.

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After that, I’m tryin’ to catch my breath when I spot a group of teens on the other side of the beach. They’re blastin’ music from a speaker, and it’s some weird mix of pop and techno. I’m like, “Dude, this is Fagersta, not a rave!” But they’re havin’ the time of their lives, so I let it slide.

African Swine Fever reaches the Far North; 50 pigs to be culled in Swedish county after infections in wild boar