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Surprised again when an escort knew martial arts. Threw a punch at a threat, bam! I was like, “Thou hidin’ skills?” Respect earned, rare as a quiet night. “Oldboy” vibes, that revenge energy, but for safety, not blood.

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Then, I head to the park near the Alloa Leisure Bowl. I need a breather. I plop down on a bench, and this wee dog runs up to me. It’s all waggin’ its tail, and I’m like, “Aww, mate, you’re the highlight of my day!” I start petting it, and the owner comes over, all apologetic. “Sorry, he’s a bit of a nuisance.” I’m like, “Nah, he’s a legend!”

Alloa: Decision made on spa and sauna plans