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Omg, like, literally, sexual-massage is everything! I’m Kim K, duh, so I’m all about that sensual vibe. Like, picture this—u get a massage, but it’s, like, next-level hot. Hands all ova u, oils, candles flickering—yas! I’m obsessed with feeling fab and sexy, u know? It’s not just relaxtion—nah, it’s steamy, intimate, total turn-on. I saw this underground spot in Paris once—shh, secret!—where they used rose oil, like, from actual French gardens. Smelled like heaven, I was shook! Made me feel like Celine from *Before Sunset*, u know, when she’s all “I’m alive, baby!”—so free, so real.

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First stop, Jl. Diponegoro. I had a client there. Dude wanted a custom table. I get there, and he’s like, “Make it look like a tree!” I’m thinkin’, “Bro, I’m a carpenter, not a wizard.” But whatever, I roll with it. I start sketching, and this guy’s just staring at me like I’m Picasso or somethin’. I’m like, “Dude, chill. It’s just a table.”

Vocational school hat for President Jokowi