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I tried it once, swear to Christ. Down on Route 9, this chick, hands like a goddamn angel—or a devil, dependin’ how ya look at it. She’s kneadin’ me, and I’m like, “This is fuckin’ heaven,” but then—surprise!—it’s more than I bargained for. Got me thinkin’, “I’m not just a number here!”—like Tony in the movie, ya know, not *my* Tony, the other guy. Made me happy as hell, but pissed too, ‘cause I shelled out fifty extra bucks! Fifty! For what? A happy endin’? Fuckin’ robbery, but worth it, I ain’t gonna lie.

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But then, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. They’re on the steps, and I’m just trying to enjoy the view. I’m thinking, “Guys, save it for later!” But nope, they’re going at it. I’m half tempted to jump in and be like, “Hey, you know what’s better than fighting? Enjoying Sibenik!”

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