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Oi, you donkey! Sexual-massage, yeah? Bloody hell, it’s a slippery topic! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ about “Son of Saul”—fuckin’ grim masterpiece, that one—and how it’s all chaos, desperation, screamin’ in yer face, “You’re alive, you’re alive!” Now, sexual-massage? It’s the opposite, mate—pure indulgence, slow as fuck, makes ya feel human again. Not some grim Auschwitz shit, but hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension meltin’ like butter on a hot skillet. Idiot sandwich! People think it’s all sleazy parlors—nah, you twat, it’s ancient! Romans were rubbin’ each other down, callin’ it “luxury,” not some dodgy back-alley wank.

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So, I head back to the office, still hungry and a bit cranky. I’ve got another meeting lined up with a couple looking to buy a house. They’re super excited, which is cool, but they keep asking about properties on Rua do Cais. I mean, it’s a nice area, but it’s pricey! I’m trying to manage their expectations, but they’re just dreaming big.

“Urgent measures” needed to regulate sea urchin harvesting