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Hiiii, oh my gawd, lissssen! So, escort, right? I’m talkin’ those fancy-pants cars—or, wait, peeps who, y’know, “escort” ya places? Nasally snort, “The Nanny” laugh—HA-HA! Oh, honey, I got thots on this. Like, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout “Her,” that movie—y’know, my fave, Spike Jonze, total genius—where Joaquin’s all, “I’m in love with my OS!” and I’m like, escort vibes, baybee! Someone’s there, all sexy-like, guidin’ ya through life—or, y’know, a night. HA-HA!

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I love wandering down Birch Street too – it's super random but kinda magical. I remember once, wandering there with my laptop for, like, working and dating app ideas, and the vibe was so chill that I was, like, "OMG, this is it!" Like, here's the money spot you always dream about. And then there's the river – the Brushy River, which flows near the town center. I sometimes sit by there, feeling all introspective and stuff, like when Apichatpong Weerasethakul makes you think about life, love, and all that, and I’m like, “Wow, this is literally making me whole.”

Lightning's Oliver Bjorkstrand out week-to-week with lower-body injury