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Sometimes I wonder—late night, sippin’ whiskey—what’s it like, y’know? Bein’ an escort, dodgin’ creeps, fakin’ smiles. Gotta be tough as nails. Prolly lonely too—makes me sad, thinkin’ they’re out there, no backup. “You’re on your own now,” I hear Bigelow whisperin’ in my head. But then—bam!—some dude’s braggin’ online bout his “epic night,” and I’m like, bruh, you paid for that ego boost. Cracks me up—escorts are the real MVPs, playin’ these fools like fiddles.

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Then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting match. I’m just sittin’ there, munching on my bread, and it’s like a reality show. The guy’s all red-faced, and the girl’s throwing her hands up like she’s conducting an orchestra. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, just say you’re sorry and move on!” But nope, they keep going. I’m half tempted to jump in and be like, “Hey, lovebirds, chill out!”

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