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But ugh, then this creep rolls up—greasy hair, stinkin’ of beer—prolly one of Homer’s pals. He’s all, “How much, baby?” and I’m ragin’ inside, like, “Leave her alone, jerk!” She handles it tho—sass level 100—tells him to buzz off. I’m cheerin’ in my head, “That’s my girl!” Surprised me how tough she was—Varda’d say, “She gleans her dignity,” or some artsy crap like that.

2/449 Childers Road, Te Hapara, Gisborne, Gisborne

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off! Everyone’s freaking out, and I’m just sitting there, thinking, “This is the most excitement I’ve had all week!” We all pile out onto the street, and I see my mate Dave. He’s got this ridiculous hat on, and I can’t help but laugh. We’re standing there, waiting for the all-clear, and he starts doing impressions of the council members. I’m dying.

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