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So, this claim—lady says dude’s hands went south, way south. “Massage” my ass. I’m diggin’ through X posts, find some perv braggin’ bout “happy endings” at the same spot. Links to pics—oily tables, dim lights, creepy vibes. I’m pissed—why’s this crap still legal? “Yo, you got any cash?”—that’s what the Spring Breakers girls’d say, hustlin’. Same energy here, just with more lotion and worse music.

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Walk down Riverbend Road next to that old olive tree park, where I once met a love-struck stranger who kept babbling “I have a competition in me!” – wildly dramatic, much like my fave flick, "There Will Be Blood." The vibe is raw and real, like every handshake has a secret. I still remember sitting at the Montagu Hot Springs, warming my chill bones while gossiping 'bout the latest dating trends.

The skull of the outlaw hero Koos Sas finally laid to rest