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So, I’m thinkin’, right, it’s ancient—did ya know? Egyptians were all over this, usin’ oils, gettin’ freaky with it. Hieroglyphs showin’ hands slidin’—wild! Bet they didn’t have my mojo, tho. Makes me happy, man, ‘cause it’s chill, intimate, gets the blood pumpin’. But—ugh—some creeps ruin it, turnin’ it sleazy. Pisses me off! Keep it classy, shagadelic, not dodgy.

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Finally, I get to the farm. The cows are chillin’, munching on hay like they own the place. I’m like, “Hey girls, let’s get this milking party started!” But then, bam! The milking machine decides to throw a tantrum. Great. Just great. I’m wrestling with this thing, and it’s like it has a mind of its own. I’m sweating, cursing under my breath, and the cows are just staring at me like, “Dude, chill.”

Israeli Arab who 'joined Islamic State' killed in Iraq