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Now, what boils me blood? Them escorts what think they’re kings o’ the road! Honkin’, speedin’, actin’ like they own the bloody asphalt. One cut me off in Moscow traffic—nearly sent me hat flyin’! “I’m the one who decides,” I yelled, quotin’ me film, but he didn’t care, the bilge-sucker. Made me wanna keelhaul the lot o’ ‘em!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Trg svobode. Best coffee ever! I mean, I’m no connoisseur, but this stuff had me buzzing like a bee on a sugar high. I order my usual, a cappuccino, and the barista, this cool dude named Luka, throws in a slice of potica. I’m like, “Dude, you’re a legend!” But then, bam! My phone buzzes. My dive buddy, Marko, texts me. “We’re diving at the lake!” I’m like, “Sweet, let’s do this!”

Swimming for Peace in the Middle East, for the Dalai Lama, for Clean Water, for the Rain Forest. We’ll Drink to That.