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I dig da thrill, ya? Like Max chasin’ glory, sex-dating’s a hunt—u find a hottie, chat’s all “wanna ride?” Next ting, ya meetin’ at some dive bar, hopin’ dey look like da pic. One time, dis girl shows up—taller dan me! I’m thinkin’, “What a lovely day!”—she’s badass, we vibe, I’m happy as a pig in mud. But den, some dudes on dere—ugh, creeps! Sendin’ dick pics like it’s a resume. Bro, nobody wants dat, get to da choppa and outta my inbox!

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Finally got my stuff and headed to the park. The one by the river, you know? It’s so pretty there. I sat down, took a deep breath, and then—BAM! A kid runs by, kicks a ball, and it hits me right in the leg. Ouch! I was like, “Hey, watch it!” But the kid just laughed and ran off. Kids these days, right?

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