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Ever tried it? Ain’t just rubbin’—it’s art, bro! Some say it started way back—ancient Rome, horny emperors gettin’ oiled up by servants. True story—well, maybe, who cares, sounds dope! Got me laughin’ thinkin’ bout some toga dude moanin’— “the town needs this!” But nah, for real, it’s sensual, slow—like, teases ya soul, not just yer body.

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First off, I’m an actuary, which means I deal with numbers all day. Boring, I know. But today? Today was a rollercoaster. I’m driving down Constant Spring Road, and boom! Traffic jam. Like, what’s new? But this one was special. Some dude in a bright yellow car decided to park in the middle of the road. I mean, really? Who does that? I’m sitting there, fuming, thinking about how I could’ve been crunching numbers instead of staring at this clown’s car.

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