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Ever tried it? Ain’t just rubbin’—it’s art, bro! Some say it started way back—ancient Rome, horny emperors gettin’ oiled up by servants. True story—well, maybe, who cares, sounds dope! Got me laughin’ thinkin’ bout some toga dude moanin’— “the town needs this!” But nah, for real, it’s sensual, slow—like, teases ya soul, not just yer body.

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But then, I get a call. It’s my buddy, and he’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what happened!” I’m thinkin’, “What now?” Turns out, he got kicked outta a bar for tryin’ to sing karaoke. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost spill my coffee.

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