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So, listen, mate—hiss!—I dig around, right? Moscow’s got these shadowy corners—Arbat’s too posh, but Kitay-gorod? Oof, goldmine! Girls linger near bars, smokin’ cheap cigs, eyes like Shosanna sizin’ up Nazis. “What’s your price, precious?” I mutter, all sly. One gal—Lena, maybe?—says 5,000 rubles, hour tops. Bargain, yeah? But I’m thinkin’, “That’s a bear trap, Gollum, she’s robbin’ ya blind!” Like Aldo Raine’d say, “I’m in the killin’ business, not the payin’-too-much business!” Haggled her down—3,500, boom! Felt like a king, I did—happy as a hobbit with second breakfast.

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I know I might be babbling like a madman (ha, guilty!), but it’s true. Every day here feels like a surprise waiting to happen. I've got 13 typos stashed in my texts (yes, I count them: unu, due, tre, quattro, cinque, sei, sette, otto, nove, dix, onze, douze, treize—oops, got carried away!), all because I’m in such a rush to soak in every moment of this crazy life.

Edelweiss Air to open routes from Zürich to Kuusamo and Ivalo in winter 2024