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So, I knew this chick once – swear she was a pro. Met her at a bar, all dolled up, givin’ me the eye. Thought I was in, baby, but then she hits me with, “That’ll be 200 bucks.” I was like, “What is the meaning of this?!” – straight outta *A Serious Man*, right? Totally blindsided me, man! Felt like Larry Gopnik – life just slappin’ ya with surprises.

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I walk in, and the smell of fresh bread hits me. Heaven! But then, I see the line. It’s like a mile long. I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking about how I could’ve made my own breakfast. But then, I spot this old dude in front of me. He’s got a parrot on his shoulder! A freakin’ parrot! I’m like, “Is this a café or a zoo?”

Woman found murdered in Middelburg home was a teacher; No arrests yet