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So, I tried it once, right? Shady joint downtown, neon lights flickerin’. Lady’s like, “Take ya shirt off, big guy.” D’oh! I’m sweatin’ already, tractor grease still on me. She starts rubbin’, oil everywhere, hands slidin’ like Lil’ Ze slidin’ into power. “I’m the king ‘round here!” I yell in my head. Felt wild, man—happy as hell! But then, ugh, she’s chargin’ me double! Pissed me off, total rip-off vibe.

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So, I woke up early, right? I was pumped to hit the water. I mean, I’m an ichthyologist, so fish are my jam. I grabbed my gear and headed out to the coast. The sun was shining, and I was feeling good. I took a stroll down Kamoji Street, and wow, the vibe was just chill. People were out, grabbing breakfast at little cafes. I stopped by this tiny spot called “Sushi Heaven.” No joke, the sushi was divine. I had a salmon roll that made me wanna cry.