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About Myself
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About Bristol
So, I stumble outta the trees, boots caked in filth, and hit the tavern—shady spot, reeks o’ ale and despair. There she be, a wench with eyes like stolen stars, leanin’ on the bar. “Thou art a thief,” I mutter, “stealin’ me breath like Cobb nabbin’ secrets!” She smirks—ooh, that got me riled! Cheeky tart, playin’ me like a fiddle. I’m half-angry, half-buzzin’, ‘cos she’s a riddle wrapped in silk.
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First off, I step outta my flat on Newbottle Street. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m thinking, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill. I’m walking down the street, and I see this old bloke trying to fix his bike. I mean, come on, it’s Houghton-Le-Spring, not a bike shop! He’s got tools everywhere, and I’m like, “Mate, you need a mechanic, not a miracle.”
Bird hide on Houghton-le-Spring nature reserve given £20k revamp
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