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But yo, the thrill? Unbeatable. Met this chick once—total fire. We clicked, like, instant. “Sometimes I think I’m invisible,” she said, quotin’ Bill Murray. Deep shit. Sex-dating’s a gamble—stats say 1 in 5 hookups stick. Rare as hell. Little secret? Back in ’98, some nerd made the first sex-dating site. Called it “Web Personals”—sketchy as fuck. Worked tho—people banged.

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Finally, I get my stuff and head out. I’m walking down the street, and I see this massive puddle. I’m talking like, “If I jump in that, I’m gonna need a boat!” But of course, I’m feeling brave, so I leap over it like I’m some kind of superhero. Nailed it! But then, BAM! I slip on the wet pavement. Classic me, right? I land right in front of the pub, The Olde Red Lion. I’m pretty sure the locals got a good laugh out of it.

Hardingstone Academy strikes gold for its commitment to sport