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Aight, so check it—I’ve been on these apps, scrollin’, chasin’ that thrill. You ever notice how folks be lyin’ ‘bout their height? Bruh, 5’9” ain’t 6’2”, stop cappin’! Makes me mad as hell, but then—bam—ya match with a dime, and it’s all “Started from the bottom, now we here.” Happy vibes, ya dig? One time, I linked up with this chick—swore she was a model. Turns out, she catfished me hard—looked like my auntie’s bulldog. I was HEATED, fam! “Who are you? Who sent you?”—straight outta *Caché*, that paranoia hittin’.

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Oh man, sometimes as I massage out knots, I reminisce about a phase, yo, I was bouncing between Patchogue's quirky little coffee shops, like at Haven Coffee – you know, the one with the bright neon sign that freaks out the locals with its retro vibe. I swear, it's like living in a Wes Anderson scene – symmetrical and offbeat.

12th suspect charged in case of missing Patchogue girl