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It’s not just rubbin’ and tuggin’, tho—there’s an art, a rhythm. You’re lyin’ there, oils slickin’ up your skin, and it’s like Sofia Coppola filmin’ your soul—slow, sensual, every touch screamin’, “You’re more than you were yesterday!” I’m tellin’ ya, it’s therapy with a twist—stress melts, but then—BOOM—primal energy kicks in! Ever tried it with lavender oil? Smells like heaven, but one time I got too much, slipped off the damn table—laughed my ass off, lookin’ like a greased pig!

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I’m fuming. I mean, we’ve been planning this for months! I start pacing around, muttering to myself. “Why do I even do this?” I’m about to lose it when I spot a group of kids playing soccer on the street. They’re laughing, having a blast. I can’t help but smile. Kids really know how to live, right?

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