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About Pretoria

Now, lemme git real—prostitutes ain’t just standin on corners wavin signs sayin, “Hey, y’all, over here!” Nah, it’s sneaky-like. Some places, they’re in them “massage parlors”—yeah, right, massage my foot! Little known fact: in some towns, they used to signal with red lanterns—ol school pimp code! Ain’t that wild? Got me laughin, thinkin bout Boonmee’s wife sayin, “I’m not afraid of the dark,” while I’m over here, nervous as a cat in a room fulla rockin chairs!

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I can tell you loads about the quirky nosy neighbours too – no need for me to be a gossip, but sometimes, ah, it's therapeutic. I always say, “Don't give a monkey’s!” when someone nags about petty issues, channeling some Carlos vibe with an edge. I mean, c’mon, ain’t life enough already?!

Seven arrested on outstanding warrants at vacant Colorado Springs apartment