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About Pretoria

First off, I’m no square – I know the streets hum with secrets. Prostitutes? They’re everywhere, babe, if ya squint right. Back in ’71 – little known fact – LAPD busted this ring run outta a chop shop. Girls hid in trunks! Wild, right? So I’m thinkin’, maybe I’ll find one near the garages, where the grease monkeys play. Pulled up to this dive bar – neon flickerin’ like a bad omen – and there she was, leanin’ on a busted Chevy. “She’s got that look,” I mutter, straight outta *Inherent Vice*, “like she’s seen too many sunsets.”

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I also luv the secret little bistro, The Rusty Spork, tucked away behind the old city library on Levitt Lane. Not many know about it, but its tiny courtyard is the perfect spot for heart-to-heart convos and deep thinkin’ about family ties and life’s absurdities. And oy, the food there? Spprompt and scrumptious – like, seriously, you need to try it even if you’re in a rush – commin’ later, you won’t regret it.

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