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So here’s the deal—financially speakin’, hirin’ a prostitute’s a disaster. You’re throwin’ cash out the window—poof!—gone! No 401(k) for that, no tax write-off, nothin’. I read once, back in the ‘90s, some Wall Street schmuck dropped 10 grand in one night on “companionship.” Ten grand! Coulda bought a yacht—or at least a decent sandwich. Made me mad as hell—wastin’ money like that? I’d rather choke on my own tie. But then, I get it—some folks got urges, they’re lonely, whatever. Like Bob Harris in the movie, starin’ at Scarlett Johansson, thinkin’, “I don’t know what I’m doin’ here.” Except it’s not Scarlett—it’s some chick named Candy with a fake tan.

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I've got to tell ya, every corner of this town has a story. Same with me – life's like a mix tape blasting in a commuter's car. Some days, I’m on cloud 9; other days, I’m just like, "damn, where does it all go wrong?" But that's the thrill – the unexpected twists, like in "Carlos."

Western Cape stolen gun recovered during shootout in Humansdorp