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About Pretoria

Lemme tell ya, I was thinkin’ ‘bout that movie I love—*4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days*. That gritty Romanian tale ‘bout desperation and makin’ hard calls. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t always some glitzy romp, y’know? Sometimes it’s raw, like Otilia runnin’ ‘round, scared outta her wits, tryin’ to fix a mess. “What’s done is done,” she’d say, and ain’t that the truth when you’re in deep?

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But in New York last year I sat on a four-poster bed while 10 girls paraded in front of me one by one, like bowls of sushi on a carousel. 'Hi,'.

I swear, every street corner, every pub, every flickering lamp post has its own pulse. Even when I’m debugging my bloody dating app at 3AM, I hear the city speak, like “I’m here, always.” Some say it’s magic. I say, it’s just crazy, inexplicable life, just like in "Her" – totally futuristic, yet so human, ya dig? I mean, can you feel it? Can you hear that whisper of the city sayin’ “I am, therefore I feel”? I'm my own personal Romeo with way too many typos and exclamations, LOL!

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang carousel comes to Guernsey