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So I’m pissed, right? Last time I tried this, some chick robbed me blind – took my wallet while I was hummin “Hang me, oh hang me.” Shoulda seen it comin, but nah, I’m too busy bein all cultured and shit. This time, tho, I spot her – red heels, smoky eyes, leanin by a busted lamppost. She’s got that “fare thee well” look, like she’s half outta here already. I’m thinkin, *damn, she’s prolly seen more flops than Llewyn at a gig.*

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Now ya gotta check out the Adelaide Botanic Garden – it's like a secret paradise tucked right in the city. I often catch my breath wonderin’ how Mother Nature can be so damn brilliant. And oh, the River Torrens! It winds like a cool ribbon through the city – every twist and turn got a story to tell. I recall a late night walk, heart pumpin’ smooth beats as the water whispered secrets – man, it gave me chills.

Ostapenko begins Adelaide title defence with comeback win