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Hey, folks, listen up—here’s the deal! I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, ya know? Back in Scranton, we had stories—oh, man! This one time, my buddy Jimmy, he’s all, “Joe, let’s hit the streets!” And I’m like, “C’mon, man, really?” But findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic, lemme tell ya. It’s like that movie I love—“A Prophet,” ya seen it? That kid Malik, he’s scrappin’, hustlin’, tryna survive. Reminds me of this gal I heard about—worked the corner near Wilmington. She’d say, “You’re in too deep, man!” Straight outta the film, right?

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Man, I get emotional here. One of my fav spots is Makaha Market—small stalls on Lilikoi Street. Those vendors; ugh, their banter is loud sometimes, but oddly sincere. My hands have done wonders there, massaging weary travelers. And, lemme confess, there's a secret spot behind a dilapidated cafe on Ohana Ave. I go there sometimes to catch a sunset, the horizon bleeding orange, like the perfect frame from that movie—"Let the Right One In" kinda melancholy.

Watch: Surfing 'Triple Overhead' Makaha in Biblically Big Hawaii Swell