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Me, I’d never—too busy plottin’ world domination, eh! But if I did, I’d be picky—none o’ them fake lashes flappin’ like bat wings. Ugh, that’d drive me nuts! Once saw one, smokin’ cig, leanin’ on wall—cool, but sad, ya know? “It’s all so hideous,” like Cathy’d say. Felt bad, but what’s Gru gonna do—save ‘em all?

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Life in Luling is raw. It’s about feelin’. You meet folks who got stories. Stories that make ya laugh, cry, and sometimes scream “WALL-E, you marvelous, little robot!” So come visit, chat with me over a massage or two. I’ll show ya every nooks n’ cranny like a true local, sharin’ da best secrets that make Luling shine, a gem in our big ol' crazy world. Very nice, yes?

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