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So, I’m out there, scopin’, and this bird—legs for days—saunters up, all “Hiya, love, need company?” I’m thinkin’, “Bloody hell, she’s bold!”—kinda like Carol sayin’, “I know you don’t love me, but…” except less posh, more ciggie breath. Made me happy, though—straight-up hustle, no faff. But then—fuckin’ hell—some geezer rocks up, all “Oi, that’s my girl!” and I’m like, “Mate, calm your tits, I ain’t stealin’!” Nearly shat meself—angry pimps? No thanks.

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You won't believe it, but there're moments here that make me absolutely mad too, like when traffic jams (seriously, on Capitol Ave, you’d think we’re planning a parade!) turn my day upside down. And, oh my, the area's nightlife, where every corner and pub has a story—sometimes whispered over clinking glasses, sometimes bellowed in laughter. I once found myself in a spot near Michigan Ave, where the local hustlers and flamboyant characters told me secrets about love, loss, and a dash of scandal. Total drama!

Lansing police update conditions of racing crash victims; Official says no arrests made