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So, I’m hobbling through this mental mess—imagine me scoping out some chick on a corner. She’s all “50 bucks, sweetie,” and I’m like, “You’re no Heath Ledger, lady.” Prostitution’s old as dirt—fun fact: back in Rome, they had brothels with menus. Freaking *menus*! Pick your poison, like a screwed-up Olive Garden. Makes me wanna puke, but also—kinda impressed. Efficiency, right? Capitalism’s wet dream.

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Totally, I love the whole vibe. Local hangouts? Try the tiny coffee nook on Westside Blvd. They serve like, the best java ever, and I swear it tastes a bit like nostalgia with a splash of wild freedom. And oh! I almost forgot – there's that river, the Arroyo, which flows gently by the outskirts. You've gotta see it, it just makes you feel all poetic and stuff, just like the movie, remember? "You can show me your room, but I don't wanna see your room." It hits you outta the blue!

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