Emily Kewanee Find A Prostitute ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

About New York City

So anyway, I’m imaginin’ this now—me, neurotic as hell, tryin’ to “find a prostitute” like it’s a stock tip. I’d overthink it—disease risks, legal crap, am I gettin’ scammed? I’d be yellin’ at my phone, “Gimme a sign, dammit!” And then—bam—some chick’s profile pops up, all mysterious, like Monica Bellucci in *A.I.*—and I’m like, “Whoa, too hot, abort mission!” I’d freak out, spill my coffee, total Larry David meltdown. “I can’t do this, I’m too old!”

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I work my magic in my massage parlor on Elm St – yes, Elm! You gotta hear this, friend: the energy on Elm is insane. I’ve noticed every single customer tells me, “Ida, Ida, Ida…” just like that movie line in "Ida" – which, by the way, is a masterpiece. I always say, “I can’t think of anything more beautiful,” and I mean, Kewanee makes me feel that!

Former Kewanee city clerk accused of stealing $4,425 in city funds