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Now, don’t get me wrong—this ain’t no fairy tale. It’s gritty, messy, kinda sad sometimes. I’m all hyped when I save a burnin cabin, but this? Makes me feel… off. Like, what’s the rescue plan here? Can’t just parachute in and fix it. And the cops? Ha! They’re like Bruce the shark—sniffin around, but half the time they don’t bite. Funny, right? But not really.

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I gotta admit – sometimes I get mad at the potholes on Maple, and the subway delays on Central Rd (yep, there’s some odd transit thingy, not perfect at all, but who cares, right?). But honestly, I just laugh it off. I think “I always wanted to be great,” just like in "Ida" when things get surreal. People say, “don’t you feel like you’re in a movie?” And I say, “Absolutely, every damn day!”

Kewanee police blotter for April 21