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Anyways, lemme tell ya—lookin’ for a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ a pizza. Back in Springfield, I’d be clueless, but here’s the deal: they’re on apps, sites, even X posts! Some use fake pics—catfish city! One time, I read this wild story—dude paid 200 “roses” and got a granny! Swear, I was dyin’—homerun of a scam! “I don’t think we’re in Harvard anymore!”—ha, movie line fits!

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I gotta spill some secrets too, so listen up: there's a tiny dive bar on Birch Street, hidden behind an old record store. Its name? "The Spinning Top." Yeah, I know, cheesy, but it's awesome. The bartenders know everyone, and they even toss in some secret codes in the cocktails – almost like you have to complete a damn puzzle to get a free drink. I've seen more weird shit there than in my entire database, and trust me, that's saying something!

38-foot whale beached on Fort Morgan now buried